You Thought It Was What You Know and Not WHO You Know? . . . PUH-LEASE!!!

by Aric Jackson

So why aren't you where you want to be in life? Really? Do you feel that you're working toward it or that you're far away from it? Despite all the wonderful degrees and certifications you have, why aren't you where you want to be in life? Now, if your life is PERFECT in every way . . .  then you probably already have the secret to a great life. So instead of reading this article, put it down and give Oprah's producers a call, because I'm quite sure they are looking for people like you. On the other hand, if you are like me, not quite where you desire to be in life, yet you're learning and creating a path for yourself and your life, keep reading---I've got some great info for you.

Growing up, we are constantly encouraged to go to school, get an education, learn everything that we possibly can, and snatch every degree and certification that we see. I will not disagree with that. As a matter of fact, my grandparents were the strongest advocates for that in my life. I love them for it. I have obtained great knowledge from the education I pursued, and my spirit to learn everything that I could put me in some very favorable spaces in my life. Yet, even with this approach, I was beginning to realize that having all of this knowledge was getting me only so far. Why was that? I was smart, I knew a lot and, heck, I was funny (or at least I thought I was). So why was my life at a plateau? Have you ever asked yourself that question before?

Take a moment to look around you. Who are the people that surround you in your life? Is it just your family? Do you have a lot of friends? What about business associates and colleagues? Well, during the plateau in my life, a great man that I knew told me I needed to look at who was in my life and then ask myself again why my life was at a plateau. My look around revealed one key thing: I had only two sets of people in my life. There was my family, whom I am crazy about. They are loving, goofy, and crazy all at the same time. Then there were my friends from my church; to this day, many of us are still in touch. They were the group of people I hung out with when I just needed to laugh or act goofy around. Though I loved both groups of people, I quickly discovered why my life sucked. What was the discovery? Despite having a great education, some papers to prove it, a great personality, and the fact that I’m fun to be around, I didn't really know anyone outside of my home and church.

Believe it or not, there would be times when I would get upset with my friends or family because they were not willing to try new things or just do something different. I mean, I would get so upset, storm off to my room, slam the door, jump on my bed kicking, and scream, "I Hate You!" Okay, so that's a bit melodramatic, but I knew there was more that I wanted to know about and more that I wanted to do. My initial thought was, Well, maybe I should read a book on something new that I want to try . . . BORING!!! Then I finally accepted that I had to put myself out there. I had to begin to network and meet new people. Was it easy? I'll admit it wasn't easy, but it was easier than I thought it would be. As a matter of fact, it almost set up a level of anxiety in me when I first began. I would think to myself, Am I good enough? Am I dressed right? Will they like me? Blah, blah, blah! I was wearing myself out.

After getting over myself, I began to be more outgoing. I started making connections at my school, even through my job at the time. Before I knew it, after a few months, and even years later, it was second nature for me to go out and meet new people. Now, that was not only to "meet" people but also to meet quality people. In doing that, my life has taken an upswing that I could not have imagined for myself. From starting my own business to writing for magazines such as Vassar, a great deal of what I have now has been sparked by who I know. It was from that point that I was able to show WHAT I knew. So with that being said, you know me, I am going to give you some tools.

# 1 --- Make the choice to open your world to others: Many times we are walking around scared to meet others because we're afraid they're going to know who we really are. Guess what? They already do! Get over yourself and open yourself up to other people. When you do this, people will gravitate toward you because you are being real. There are enough FAKE people in the world---be different, be genuine, be you.

#2 --- Decide on the "why" of meeting others: There may be one reason, there may be several, but whatever reason, make sure you know why you are getting to know people.  Intention is king in this game. Be very upfront with people. If you're looking to learn more about the real estate market and you're trying to meet other people in the field, be real and state that. Don't try to put some extraness to it, such as, "Sure, I'll go on a date with you if you show me the tricks." NO! NO! NO! You will set yourself up. If that is not your intention, don't even put that into the mix, because if you fall through in this game, know that people know people --- and people talk. Now, I am going to be real: There will be some people that you approach that you may want to date or bed; however, just be sure that this will not affect your overall goal of why you are meeting others.

#3 --- Your word is the only thing that you have: In this game, when people don't have a track record of who you are, they will generally begin by taking you at your word. This means that if you set up a meeting, show up on time, if not early. If you are encouraged to do some research, DO IT!!! Don't try to B.S. it; do the work. Your word is your bond.  That is all you have. Do understand that if you don't stay true to your word, sometimes people won't care how much you know. You could have the cure for cancer, but if you are constantly known for not showing up on time, or don't show up at all, know that their interest in you will quickly vanish. BE YOUR WORD!

#4 --- Be ready to meet people: If you are playing the game right, and you are putting yourself out there, people are going to introduce you to other people. Proven fact: Once you show everyone that you are serious about what you are doing, they are going to want to help you. No strings attached, it's just the way the machine works. If someone knows your skills and they know you are looking for a better job, know that they are going to introduce you to other people. If you are looking for a new agent to push your product, know that this person is going to introduce you to other people. So be ready. Expect it. There are some who don't expect it, and when it happens, they get all nervous and crazy. Be ready.

So given those four tools, what do you choose? Do you choose to stay on the plateau of life and not go anywhere, or do you choose to take a step and introduce yourself to the world? Here is a hard-core fact: 80% of my business is not generated because of what I know but because of who I know or who knows me. And that is something that I can tell you I take to the bank at least once a month. Be clear that it is not just in the arena of business. It can be cultural events, wine tasting, new restaurants, music, traveling, anything you can name; you can put yourself in a position to know people who know when these events will be. Yes, your education and knowledge are valuable, but they are valuable only within the four corners of your own world. Get out there, share yourself, and meet new people, because when it all boils down to it . . . It's not what you know, but WHO you know.

Now get out there!!! The world is waiting to meet you.