by Carolyn Robinson

I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could such hateful, nasty words come out of the mouth of the man of my dreams? The man I loved? I thought things were going just fine; well except for the unusual ways he chose to discipline little Clay. Of course I didn't always agree with the way he handled things, but Clay had to learn to be a man, right? Alvin was the only father figure in his life right now. He was the only one who could teach him to become a good man. When Clay's father was sent to prison, I thought my whole world had finally come to an end. I thought little Clay and I were doomed. There was no money coming in to support us except for a few hundred dollars my husband had left in his bank account. Other than that we were broke. I just knew for sure that my son and I would have to go on welfare and be part of the system for the rest of our lives.

But then Alvin came along and changed everything for us. I was able to keep the house that I had gotten so used to and the welfare office never laid eyes on little Clay and I because we were well taken care of. Once again, my son and I had everything we've always wanted and needed.

But just the thought of Alvin not being in our lives, sent a cold chill down the center of my spine. My eyes welled with tears at the thought of having to apply for government assistance. Standing in a welfare line waiting for handouts. Being part of the system for who knows how long. I simply refused to live like that.
Alvin was all we had. How could I live without this man?
As I stood there with my thoughts all over the place, my mother's words of desperation kept running through my head. I could still hear the way she begged and pleaded...

 "Please James," she cried; holding on to his huge upper arm and pulling him toward her. "You know he didn't mean to do it. Let him be this time, please. I swear I'll give him a good talkin' to later on, but just let him be this time, James...please..."
"Now woman, you listen to me," James turned on his wife angrily, "ain't no talkin' to gone get through to that hardheaded boy. The only thang that's gone straighten him out is a little ass whuppin'. Now move outa my way so I can teach him a thing or two about respect."
James jerked his arm away from his wife's grasp and took his brown, two-inch wide leather belt from around his thick waist, wrapping it tightly around his hand and wrist and went in search of Edward.
"James please, let me whup him," Gloria pleaded with her husband.
"Let you whup him? Woman you must done lost yo' mind. You know I'm the man of this here house now. Been takin' care of you and them bad kids of yours since they daddy died. Now is you gone let me be the man of the house and give that boy this beatin' like he deserve or do you wont me to leave ya'll and let you handle it? But I swear fo' God, if I leave, I ain't neva comin' back." James glared down at his wife, her eyes filled with tears and confusion. She slowly sank to the damp kitchen floor, defeated; all the crying and pleading going nowhere.
Gloria's narrow shoulders slumped and shook as she closed her eyes tight and cried out loud as if she were being beaten; the sounds of her son's cries of pain and the swinging of the leather belt coming from the other room. She buried her face in the palms of her dark, calloused hands, her heart filled with helplessness and sorrow.
Terrified that she would be next, eight year old Mercedes crawled from under the kitchen table where she'd been hiding from her abusive stepfather and slowly approached her mother. Putting her trembling arms around her daughter, Gloria held on to her little girl as they sobbed together; both wondering when the beating was going to stop...

I shook my head to escape the awful memories of growing up with an abusive stepfather. Although he'd never laid a hand on me, my big brother Edward wasn't so lucky. Sometimes James would whip out his belt and slap Edward across the back if he even thought he was being looked at the wrong way.

After our father died of a massive heart attack on the job, my mother nearly lost her sanity. Money was low and times were so hard that she had to ask our not-so-friendly neighbors for food.

Then James Montgomery, one of my father's closest friends from the job visited us a few weeks after the funeral offering to help us out. At first my mother's pride got in the way of us having a decent meal, but after countless visits from James, combined with numerous looks of pity and growling and empty stomachs from her children, my mother finally accepted James' offers for help.
Soon he became a regular and eventually moved in.
For so many years I could never understand why my mother refused to get rid of James. Whenever they argued and he threatened to leave, my mother's begging and pleading always seemed to put an evil smile on his face and he'd stay. He even tried to get Edward and me to call him daddy, but that was a battle he always lost, because no man could ever replace our daddy.

Standing in the hallway thinking of my mother and the day Edward finally turned eighteen and ran away from home, tears filled my eyes as I came to the realization that I was in the same situation as my mother. I was helpless. I had no job. No money of my own and nowhere else to go. I was totally dependant upon Alvin, just like my mother had become with James Montgomery.
But I'd be damned if I was going to allow my son to be abused like Edward. There were times when I'd lie in bed at night, wishing that James would suddenly change his mind and beat me instead of my big brother. But he never did. He never so much as looked my way. I guess Edward always took the beatings to protect his mother and little sister. But all his protection and love for us couldn't keep him from leaving once he turned eighteen.

Having no idea of what my next move was going to be, I tiptoed back down the hallway and into the living room as though I'd just walked in the front door.
I could still hear the faint sounds of Alvin's deep voice as he continued to talk trash to my son. Reaching inside my purse for the car keys, I had every intention of rattling them so as to let Alvin know I had arrived home. Maybe he'd leave little Clay alone and collect the goodies I brought back from the grocery store.
Just as my hand touched the slick cover of my silver razor phone, it rang.
I froze.
Who could be calling me?
Surely it wasn't Alvin. He was too busy giving my son a tongue lashing.
With my fingers closed around the ringing object, I tried desperately to open the phone before it rang a second time. I didn't even bother to look at the caller id. I just wanted the damn thing to shut up.
"Hello?" I whispered into the receiver, having no idea who it could be. There was complete silence on the other end, but I could hear soft breathing in my ear.
"Hello?" I repeated, all too ready to hit the END button on this prank caller.
Then a familiar voice answered back, nearly taking my breath away.
"What's up beautiful?" He said, his voice low and deep, just as I remembered. "How's my family?"
My hands were trembling so much I almost dropped my phone.
I was speechless.
My mouth opened, but no words came.
Goosebumps danced across my arms and the fine hairs on the back of my neck said 'hello'.
"Mercedes, it's me, Clay. You still there?"
"Y-Yes, Clay," I finally managed to say, my mouth as dry as the Mojave Desert. "I'm still here."
Just hearing the sound of this man's voice in light of all the craziness that's been going on was sweet music to my ears. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw all my troubles melt away at my feet. Could we become a real family again?
"Mercedes, I've missed you so much, baby," he sang in my ear. And it was the sweetest melody I'd ever heard in my life.
I whispered, "I've missed you too, Clay."

"Who the hell you talkin' to, Mercedes?"
I twisted around to the gruff sound of Alvin's voice behind me.
I dropped my phone.

TO BE CONTINUED...